Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
