Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
