I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There r osticjed everywhere
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Im part way to drunk.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
