i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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