I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
