You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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