If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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