i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
