I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
