just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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