thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
