im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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