I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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