I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
