I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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