i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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