I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
