she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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