I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
