Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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