life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
