He asked to "fluff my boner.."
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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