Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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