I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
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