so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
