Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I have fence marks all over my body
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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