if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
and she was petting her beer can
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
