i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
