Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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