best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
