Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the day after is always just damage control
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
She made me pour olive oil on her.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
