I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
