She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
