ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
