We won't sleep together?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
