dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
