you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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