Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The struggles of a small town man whore
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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