god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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