My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
