One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
