Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
