Farmville is her only friend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
