Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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