I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
