We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
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