After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I think my moral compass just broke
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
