You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
