just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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