Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
