im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
