i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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