i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Hippo gnu deer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
